Monday, April 30, 2007

Life imitates art.

For my birthday, I treated myself to the DVD of Monty Python, series 1. So far I have only watched one episode, but I particularly remember Arthur (Two Sheds) Jackson, as the routine was also on the first Monty Python Album.

Fast forward a week. Our lawn mower has now passed on and gone to Mower Heaven (The big cage at the tip) and we have decided on a petrol one. The trouble is, with an engine, we can't just hang it up on a nail like the old one.

So, we find ourselves at Sheds-R-Us on the ring road. We settled on a "Glory Box" similar to this one.

(Glory Box has a straight-forward definition, whilst a Glory Hole could be one of several things, not all tasteful).

We already have a shed, though, a Wendy House quite a bit smaller than this one, which is for playing in

Suddenly, the irony hits. I've become Ian (Two Sheds) Grey. Do I write the blog in the shed?...

Sunday, April 29, 2007

I couldn't resist it...

(See the writing on the wall).

Armed and extremely dangerous

Today we had a short trip into Leeds to visit the Royal Armouries. I didn't take a photo of the outside but this was in the gift shop (you could buy those swords).

The entrance is a bit messy at present as there is a lot of building work going on.

The foyer space is tall and narrow, giving the impression of a lofty space.

David is admiring the iconic hall of steel tower, which is also the main stairway.

His view:

I'll let the photos tell their own story.

Alas- David's favourite exhibit was missing in action.

Our local election is getting nasty:

More on this over at MorleyGate.

The writing on the wall...

Somewhere in the world you can leave messages on a wallboard and then see them with a Webcam. In this bloke's living room.

I wonder if it distracts him watching the telly?

(Maybe he never watches the telly- he has a carcam as well.)

Hat tip: The Splund.


I've just got around to taking a procrastination test after putting it off for more important tasks (removing belly button fluff, watching YouTube vids, researching the history of Doileys).

When you get an opportunity, you can take it here, but first you need to sharpen your pencils and arrange your DVDs into zen tantric order.

(I scored a rather respectable 25%, although I may have lied, of course!)

Hat tip: Ian Lidster and Stosyth Parish Council (wherever that is) for the Tuit.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

The Producers

We went to see Peter Kay at Manchester Palace today.

Alighting in Piccadilly Gardens, we were pleased to see they are gardens again, although the grass was fenced off to give it a chance. There was also this tree-like sculpture...

And these rather public Gents toilets! (Saturday specials?)

The show was in Manchester Palace theatre, a very large 1891 two balcony variety house (currently 1998 seats) and the better of the two sisters (paired with the Opera House a short walk away).

I snapped these interval & after-show shots to show the scale of the place. A bit shaky without a tripod but that would have been an invitation to be evicted!

The show was very funny and Peter Kay made some great ad-libs. On being asked if he'd direct the show, he paused and said..."I've just bought an allotment...".

Well recommended and the Springtime for Hitler song & dance routine is cringe makingly hysterical!

Know your neighbour

Bradford University school of lifelong learning and development are running a Civic and Community event today.

Gypsies and Travellers have been resident in the UK for over 500 years. What do we really know about these communities who have been our neighbours for so long?

09.45 Registration
10.00 Brief History of Gypsies and Travellers including who are they?
10.30 Question and answer session
11.00 Break
11.30 Gypsy and Traveller Culture
12.30 Quiz
13.00 Lunch
14.00 Answers and comments
14.45 Do Mang Mandi DVD
15.00 Break
15.15 Travellers today
16.00 Question and answer session
16.30 End

I think "Do Mang Mandi" means "You tell me" but there isn't much on Google.

I'm not going to the event, I'm not that interested and it all sounds horribly politically correct.

My own experience of Gypsies/travellers is reasonably benign, limited to being sold lucky heather and being in a car that was kicked by a drunken one after a Councillor got out to read an lamppost enforcement notice.

I've heard some horror stories though, including from senior police officers.

(I was once at a public meeting where a District Commander was forcefully making a point that illegal action would not be tolerated. She referred to them as Gypsies throughout and had actively encouraged the farmer whose field they were trespassing in to get his tractor and muck spreader out. She was berated by some lefty Councillor for her callousness and how the problem was with her, not them. She replied that she didn't care what trendy name, label or excuse was used, criminal behaviour made them criminals and they needed to be dealt with firmly).

Friday, April 27, 2007

Friday/Saturday night live

I loved that show, I used to watch it religiously during the 80s, live if I was a dirty stopin, or I'd set the V2000 video recorder and watch it when I got back.

It has been released on DVD and I was expecting it any day. However, I just checked "where's my stuff?" and it was wrapped up with some other orders that won't go for a few weeks yet. (Now remedied!)

Here are some snippets from Saturday night live:

Weekend music &/or comedy treat

Thursday, April 26, 2007


My MP tells me that his website is no longer live and does not accept messages.



What he actually means is that he is no longer updating it and ignores any messages.

...and we want to give these fools £10,000 a year to get more online?

I've a better idea, and it will only cost £8.02 each. (The first ten words!)

You can see his letter over at Morleygate.

Please extinguish all smoking materials & substances*

Yesterday, I received a letter addressed to the Managing Director of Delicolor Ltd. (That would be me then**). In it was a letter from the NHS telling me all about the forthcoming smoking Ban, what actions I must take and what the financial consequences were for non-compliance. They thoughtfully sent me some sample stickers and a shiny brochure explaining (some of) the subtleties of the scheme which relates to all work places, including Company Vehicles.

After reading it, I have come to the conclusion that it is a petty, vindictive, nasty, illiberal, nannyish and downright intrusive piece of legislation, even if it is "for our own good".

Leave it to market forces, I say. It is up to business owners to decide on this, not bureaucrats***.

(Search "smoking ban" on google and look at a sample of market forces down the right. The laws of unintended consequences are always driven by inventive initiative).

P.S. None of the Grey family smokes, and we avoid situations where we have to suffer it. That doesn't mean we support collectivist regulation though.


(* Title as heard by a London Transport Employee with a Megaphone at Earls Court Tube station after a Pink Floyd Concert- it got a big laugh by the aging psychadelic crowd)

(** Delicolor Ltd was dissolved in 2000 after I returned to full time employment in 1999 but the Government still write to me as Managing Director, a sign of extreme incompetence in their record keeping. Is this an organisation we want to trust with a National ID register?)

(*** Bureaucrat: an official who works by fixed routine without exercising intelligent judgment.)

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Lolly update

I forgot to put up the results of this weekend competition from a week or two ago.

Lolly types and favourites from left to right:

Nobbly Bobbly- Ian
Maxibon- Karen
FAB- David

All made by Nestle'. (Pronounced Nest Lay these days, Ness Ulls when I was a kid- Ness Ulls Milky Bar. )

Doghouse update

Monday- Asserted ownership of smeggy lunchbag to avoid future confusion- +ve
Spray painted fence wearing white shirt (now speckled brown & not washing out despite supposedly being water based- -ve
Tuesday- Bought Maxibons at ASDA- +ve
Fixed Iron +++ve

Couch no longer a bed!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

There it was... gone!

One of the more entertaining reads around the political blogosphere was
An unofficial site, it did, however, present a more libertarian view of independence, rather than a Tory eurosceptic one. (What Iain dale amusingly called "barking mad").

It also became apparent, however, that the site was in a bit of a political vacuum and many of the ukiphome stuff wasn't on the UKIP site.

Recently, it was suggested that it would be scaling down but not until after the elections. Then suddenly, over the weekend, it was gone. Extinct, bereft of life, it rests in peace.

Checking on the main UKIP site, however, diddly squat, no forums, no mention.

Iain Dale blogged about it and started some rumours. The author, one Chad Noble, has refuted the rumours, but there is a strong smell of fish in the air.

Read the posting & comments HERE.

Another good (Eurosceptic) site has been stagnant for nearly six months now. It seems the Spanish Inquision may have got to the Professor.

UPDATE: UKIPHOME has come over all Clockwork Orange.

The Plesh

Someone who knows our love of theme parks sent us this link to a great YouTube '20s silent film footage of the Blackpool Pleasure Beach.

The main site link is

(Cheers, Paul)

Monday, April 23, 2007

Random images of St Georges day

Wartime britain

Traditional Punch & Judy

An appreciative audience

The Home Guard

Hook a duck

Caring for the environment

What a tasteful logo!

Look! Dragon crime!

The culprit?

Probably that one is the culprit.

Colin the Dragon ready to do battle

The Fletcher. Sword sharpened Sir?

Morley Yokels

A real barrel organ. Never video in portrait mode...

Yes, those beer bottles really were tuned as a chrysoglott.