A couple of postscripts:

I went into the tyre slashing garage again today, as I pulled up a large angry beeping noise started. After a short while, the cashier pressed a button- and the traffic lights next to all of the stinger systems went off. It must have off days...

The story of the Duchess and the slightly offensive labyrinth:

"Visitors, you have seen everything.
We thank you.
Now happily piss off".

The Duchess originally wanted it to say "Now happily fuck off" (well, this is implied in the book as in "even stronger language") but she was talked out of it.

She got an eminent Latin teacher to translate (who wished to remain nameless and ergo blameless).

And another Blackpool snippet:

The Arabian Derby Camels are an Institution at the Plesh.

Apparently visiting Arabs keep the stall concession operators in suitable headgear.

These machines are made by a Company called Elton Games of Southport. You can hear the Arabian Derby jingle here (MP3).