In the Dog House

This morning, I managed to leave the house with Karen's packed lunch. I'd made mine and moved the cars, during which time she made hers and put it on the couch where I absently picked it up.

They are identical blue bags. The only (minor) difference is that hers is pristine and mine is rather smeggy.

I'll let you know when I'm no longer sleeping on the couch.

Happy (English non) holiday!

Corporate Presenter asks how we will be celebrating St Georges day.

I'll be at work. Although we do have a part-time Viking joining us for tea tonight.

(Not him, he is a Pub landlord with a liking of Mail & Plate).

Hair shirts

Companies enjoy giving away low cost freebies like pens, T shirts and gadgets. It is good business sense: the prospective customer feels like they have got themselves something for nothing, the business gets their name spread around and their brand as well.

It is a thin line between a gift and a bribe of course, but unless you are a Company Director then the monetary value is generally low.

However, branding plays a role in the desirability. In 1988, I joined CCT Theatre Lighting, a good brand (number 2 in the market), well respected in the professional sector and thought of as a cool company. Shortly after I joined, they acquired Furse Theatre Products, a company well respected in the educational sector but with a poor image on the pro side, due to some rather duff ranges of products in the 60s & 70s.

Consequently, we did a big promotion at Riverside Studios (actually in a Pub down the road from the trade show) and had loads of T shirts made which proved very popular. I was visiting a theatre a few weeks later and the electrician asked if we had any left. "Sorry", I said, "We've run out of CCT ones, but we have plenty of Furse ones left." Pause. "Oh-kay." he said. "I could always wear it for get-ins, or maybe when I'm cleaning out the Pit or the Roof Void."

We often get giveaway stuff from our suppliers at work, particularly if we've bought something from them. The creativity waxes and wanes (the oddest item I received was a dolls house size office furniture set and the most useful was a monitor mirror). I was given a T shirt during the week, on condition that it appeared on Shades. It looked huge on David, unstylish on Karen and downright unpleasant on me.

However, there was a solution... the dog.


(No dogs were harmed in the production of this blog entry).

Chasing the dragon

Well, the weather (mostly) held for the St. Georges annual Parade and Festival. It was well attended and the parade was bigger than ever.

Two bits of camera video footage below. The first is the parade passing the town hall.



The second is of the dragon slaying, which didn't go quite as planned, but pretty much as I expected. (Kids will be kids).


(The mayhem begins when the count down reaches about fourty seconds).

PS The commentator is Charlie Chuckles from Chorley FM

Earth day

I use Google as my Firefox startup page, mainly to show that the broadband is up & the wireless is working when I turn on the computer. Google take pleasure in tweaking their logo to align with events (shamrocks on St. David's day etc.) and I was surprised to see icebergs this morning.


Curious, I thought. These icebergs break the rule of ninths: most of them should be underwater. What are they celebrating, I wondered? the shock news that the snow-capped mountains of Kilimanjaro aren't melting despite the wolf-like cries of the enviro-facists? It couldn't be the sinking of the Titanic, that was April 15th.
Being curious, I clicked the image and it brought up searches for Earth Day.

It seems that earth day is a religious holiday, the day that the high priests of the cult of environmentalism lambast us for breathing. The faithful fast by unplugging their appliances then go out in their Toyota Hybrids and hug trees.

Am I bovvered?

Well, like most normal, non-extreme people who want to get on with their lives without government interference, I want my Son to grow up in a world that provides all the opportunities (& more) that I had. However, the enviro-fascist movement is unpleasantly authoritarian, judgemental and regressive. Having to live in a Yurt and travelling everywhere on a milk float doesn't meet my idea of progress.

I'm extremely skeptical about much of the hot air spouted by the Al Gores of the world, it is a bandwagon that politicians, control freaks and sandal wearers seem delighted to jump onto. Hopefully the wheels are going to come off big-time in a popular backlash some time soon.

We do need to solve some serious energy challenges, of course, as dependency on petro-chemicals is a bad idea for two reasons- pollution and having to pay the despots who have most of the oil. However the answer will be solved by technology rather than returning to the dark ages advocated by the watermelons.

Last week, to my surprise, I was invited to represent our IT department on a senior working group related to green issues and corporate responsibility. My first response was that as I was an envirosceptic, I was probably the least suitable person as I wouldn't buy in to anything that was simply posturing without sound reasons to do it. The reply gave me hope, however. I was advised that such views actually made me the most suitable person, being both pragmatic, sceptic and realistic. We shall see!

Sultan of strings

Last night I took a trip over to Halifax, prompted by Tom Paine's visit to the Albert Hall at Easter. He travelled 1,500 miles, my journey was more like fifteen.

I didn't get to see Show of Hands but I did join 100 or so others to see half of them (or more accurately, two thirds), Phil Beer and Miranda Sykes. (There was a third musician, Jackie Oates who opened the show and was joined by Phil Beer later on).

Phil is a hugely talented fiddle player and he managed to turn his hand to several other strung instruments as will, including a Ukelele with an interesting history. He is very relaxed and amiable both on-stage and off. As well as mainstream folk, he also sang blues, some Little Feat (the celebrated trucking song, Willin'), Billy Joel and even some Tom Lehrer. Later on, with Miranda, they did a splendid version of Still Crazy after all these years.

Miranda was a surprise- I knew she had striking red hair but I didn't expect it to be dyed and spiky- what we used to call "Chunky Punky" in Coventry in the 70s. We didn't see her other than when she was onstage, whereas Phil and Jackie were at the merchandise table afterwards.

The venue was the Square Chapel centre for the arts, a building that I had seen numerous times whilst working in Halifax but knew little about. It is what the theatrical sector call a 'found' space, not a theatre but used successfully as one. The chapel dates back to 1772 and was unique in having massive (for the time) roof spans. (Potted history here). I have never felt that churches make particularly good theatres, (although they are buildings for performance just as much as for worship) and square chapel is essentially a 60' square flat floor hall with pull-out tiered seating. The shock though, is the decoration- the place looks almost decrepid, with eroded plasterwork, exposed bricks and a missing ceiling. The reality, however, is that the building was seriously close to collapsing until in 1988 it was rescued by a trust, the elements kept out and gradually preserved.

As a studio space, it has a perimeter track with black stage drapes, however this evening they had chosen to expose the walls and windows. Consequently, we had a great view of Beacon Hill as dusk descended. The pilasters had been fully restored at the back of the stage but in various stages of arrested decay around the walls. Each wall had five bays with tall arched windows, the centre wider bay having a venetian window. On the side walls (the ones that supported the roof beams) an extra beam over the wider bay was supported by a massive rough stone lintel (with all the pick marks) , exposed after the weather washed away the lime plaster. An informative display in the stair lobby gave a good visual and textual background of the rise, fall and rise again.

Whilst reasonably equipped for sound and lighting, the building is somewhat of a compromise. (Multi-purpose rooms always are unless they have vast amounts of technology to alter the actor-audience relationship). There are two awkward staircases either side of the (notional) stage, the get-in is up an outside metal staircase (with a 90 degree bend), the toilets are inadequate for intervals, there is only one dressing room and the maximum building fire limit is 280 so the bigger the cast, the smaller the audience.

Having said that, it has a very pleasant downstairs bar, keen volunteer staff, a lively programme and ambitious plans for expansion.

...and what about the audience? Sorry Tom, they just seemed pretty ordinary to me, no sandals, not many beards, no "I'm a socialist" T shirts. I did briefly talk to someone who had been down at the Albert but he was just someone who liked Folk and wasn't political. Maybe my sensitivity radar isn't as highly sensitive as Toms, or perhaps the Guardian isn't as popular in Yorkshire.

Dragon slaying

morley is big on St. george these days. Not because of the BNP side of it, but by a keen group of older activists keen to celebrate it as a piece of English culture.

I think this is the third event and it gets bigger every year...


Here are the events. David is particularly looking forward to slaying the dragon, as are many of the Morley school children.


Only one possible hitch- the BBC weather is ominous:


Sunday

Sunrise 05:50 (BST)
Sunset 20:17 (BST)
Sunday's predominant weather is forecast to be light showers.

16°C

10°C

Sunday's wind direction: South Westerly Wind.12
moderate 1018 52
Sunday's sun index risk: Low.

So, it could possibly be a washout. Fingers crossed.

Meet the mother in law...

Yikes!

I'd seen one of these photos on a blogpower blog but there are more doing the rounds.

I bet she'd raise a few eyebrows down in Redcar...

More evocative music

In an entirely unrelated search for something related to Telephone Exchange Frame wiring, I stumbled on a site that recalls the Tyne Tees start-up tune, known as the Three Rivers Fantasy. Follow the link and there is a link to the MP3 underneatht he test card, as well as a link to a page about the composer, Arthur Wilkinsoon.

Fascinating stuff what you can find on t'internet!

David is a Trekkie!

...although the novelty is starting to wear off. He was watching it every day on satellite earlier in the year and we bought the "trouble with tribbles" video off ebay as he didn't want to wait for half way through season two next year with the current newsagent fortnightly collecors series.

This made me chuckle.

The Buggles...

I associate the Buggles with late 1979 and the market town of Abingdon, my first field stint as a phone system installer.

As well as Video killed the radio star, they also had a lesser hit with Elstree.

I had never seen the video- until now. It is off VHS and the very start (action!) and end (cut!) are lost, but it is still a treat.

Alternative Pubs, alternative pastimes

How do you find out where the gay scene is if that is your inclination? Nowadays, it is straight forward, you buy Gay News or search on the Internet.

Of course, thirty years ago, everyone quietly knew where they were through received wisdom, either to seek out or to avoid (or if you were a total brainless nobhead, to go and cause trouble in). In Newcastle, the Pineapple in Eldon Square was well known, although the terminology wasn't politically correct then, it was "Where the Puffs gan." In Coventry, it was a Pub in the High Street which had the same name as another one out of town (which probably caused some confusion) - The Rose & Crown.

I got involved with some theatrical types in a campaign to save the Coventry Theatre in the 70s and was invited into the R & C one lunchtime. I didn't quite know what to expect and was a bit wary but was relieved to find that it was just like any other pub, although possibly with better hanging baskets (with pansies in, irony at its best!)

In subsequent places I have lived, I haven't really known (or cared) where the gay pubs where. However, there is (or rather, was) a steam room/sauna up the road from our work called "Rimmers" that was the butt of some jokes, on the basis of the name and allusions to "tossing the salad" (don't click if you'd rather not know!) I say was, because there was a huge fire in that block and the buildings are now burnt out shells, in the process of being demolished.

Anyhoo, someone from work found a leaflet blowing in the street advertising Rimmers Gay Sauna & Steam so there was some substance to the jokes. Whilst rimming isn't an exclusively gay pastime, it is probably assumed to be from the Little Britain Daffyd Thomas sketches.

It turns out that the Sun Inn next door is a gay fun pub with accommodation and that survived the fire. (It seems that Rimmers had already closed previously). I never knew it was a gay pub before seeing it in the local paper and why would I? It is rather drab looking and there are no obvious clues.

It seems everyone else knew but me though, received wisdom strikes again...

Evocative Music

When I was at Primary School in the Infants, I used to get picked up to go down to my Grandma Grey's House on Silver Lonnen. I'd be sat down in front of the telly on a small wooden form and given a bowl of soup with some bread. The soup was invariably Tomato or Oxtail.

Back in the 60's the Telly didn'a actually start until late afternoon and if I was in sharp I'd watch the Tyne Tees Television Test Card and listen to the long theme tune (which was a bit like the Radio 4 tune with Geordie songs like The Keel Row and Bobbie Shaftoe.)

Eventually the programmes would start and Robinon Crusoe always seemed to be on. The music takes me straight back to that house. Here is a seven minute YouTube with all the main themes, followed by the opening titles and then a compilation.

Modern Pelicans

Back in 1969, Pelican Crossings were introduced into the UK. They were shown incessantly on the telly by a well known public information film starring the voice of Deryck Guyler.

I didn't find the footage in the National Archives, but I did find a good Precis of it here. (You all come back now, you hear!)

Unfortunately, the brave new world of Pelican crossings are more high tech but low on usability. Take this one in Bradford which is probably a Hybrid Puffin...

It uses LEDs so is energy efficient, with a large-ish red circle instead of the normal WAIT words on the push button box. It has motion sensors at the top of the pole facing down and across the crossing so it can tell if you are still there. However, it doesn't beep any more and there aren't red/green men at the top of the pole where you are crossing to.

This one does have some sort of indicator at the top of the pole, but it is facing away from the road.

It isn't entirely clear what it is, as it happens, and...

...as it is facing a car park it appears to serve no purpose whatsoever.

You can imagine it though, some Council jobsworth saying "The spec says 14 units and I can only count 13. I don't care if it isn't connected, there is meant to be an anunciator at the top of that pole."

Spring in Morley

This afternoon, David and I wandered down to Scatcherd Park in the Town Centre after picking him up. It is looking well cared for and very colourful.

You can see how close it is to the town centre- this is Queen Street leading up to the Town Hall.

This park also has the war memorial and is a splendid setting with a natural ampitheatre.

The Memorial silhouetted in the glare of the afternoon sun...

...and David put this plinth to good use!

The park continues up the hillside towards the former Morley Hall.

The flag has been raised in anticipation of St. Georges day on Monday, which will be celebrated in style on Sunday.

People make places

I have rambled on about those wonderful entertainment venues of my formative years. Let us not forget the people who made them, as otherwise buildings have no purpose.

At the City Hall, I have mentioned Moose, before, or as he preferred to spell it, MØØse. He had set up camp in the electrical intake room behind the Manager's office with all sorts of strange musical gadgets and improvised circuits, which he collectively referred to as MØØseCrap. He had a girlfriend called Marie and claimed to be an american (although I was told by others later that he was actually from Jesmond). He de-camped from the electrical intake room to the former projection room which had a bit more space but was a long way to go to answer the back door when the bells rang. Moose left rather suddenly in early 1976 and was replaced by Colin Rowell.

Colin was a very amiable guy, with long curly hair, tinted glasses and a jovial manner. Colin had been the Manager of a musical instrument store in the West End owned by Lindisfarne's promoter, Barry McKay. (Barry could play the Organ and had done so at the City Hall for Christmas Concerts and the like). Colin had a side-kick called Neil Humphrey (or perhaps Pomphret?) and it was a joy to be on their team.

Colin had particular expertise with flatulence and used the catchphrase "I've dropped me lungs" after each virtuoso performance. After a year or so, this changed to "I've dropped me guts", as he was courting a young girl not too long out of school who must have advised him of what she had learned in biology lessons. In subsequent years, he met a smashing lass called Angela who was a lifeguard in the Baths next door and they were still together last time I saw him in the early '90s.

Colin & Neil had a great banter and one of Neil's little singing ditties was:

"I'll lever forget...
the night that we met...
...the back of the Raby"

(The Raby was an extremely rough Pub in Byker, to the east of Newcastle).

They also had a range of joke chat-up lines, like "Gizasniffofyourfrontbumpet" and "Geddahadamenob". They only used them within the crew, however, as the pulling power was zero! One catch phrase that I still use is "Bozee Speakahs" (prounounced Bow (like grow) Zee Spee Cars"when they had heard some drunk punter admiring a Bose PA system down at the Assembly Rooms on the keyside. (Bose is pronounced like Rose).

I also have to mention Bob Brown, the Manager of the venue who put me straight on a lot of the realities of the business. He looked after several venues that the Council owned and had a bit of a chip on his shoulder about Freemasons running the Council. (He was old enough to have seen all of the T-Dan Snmith and Poulson scandals tearing the elected memebrs apart over the previous decade). He had an office in the Civic Centre (The T-Dan Smith memorial) and had ambitious plans to build a world class Concert hall to replace the City Hall and Baths Complex but he died in the late 70s.

Bob's Wife used to help out in the Box Office and his Son worked the lighting control- until he had an affair with the high wire girl from Circus Hoffman and he ran off with her. This is how I ended up getting the job, so have the circus to thank for that...

Down at the Royal, Ernie Savage was an excellent house electrician and admired by the touring community all over the UK for his capability and helpfulness. (I still meet people who speak highly of him). He had originally worked at the Newcastle Empire with Andy Kent and they both transferred to the Royal when it had a vintage Strand Electric Grand Master control located on a platform stage left. (As a boy, I can remember gazing through the Dock doors fascinated by this ironmongery). They had a little room in the bowels of the building (next to the boilerhouse which was also their duties, of course) but they also spent quite a lot of time over the road in The Adelphi, the Stage Door Tap. (They both once took me down to a CIU club down towards the river, drinking in clubs being much more amiable (and affordable) than City Centre Pubs. Sadly, whilst I was at college, Ernie had an accident, falling off a tallescope (an extendible ladder access system), injuring his back and being off work for a long time. He came back to light duties but died unexpectedly shortly afterwards. he is sadly missed.

Andy went on to be Chief and I visited him in the late 90s, when he was near retirement. He also died a couple of years into his actual retirement, the all too frequent sad fate of active men who lose their purpose.

On a lighter note I went to see Snow White (starring Dana) with my mum in the late 70s when I was back from college once and we went into the Adelphi for a pre-show drink. I was surprised by the large number of "persons of restricted growth" in the bar, but when I counted them and noticed that there were actually seven, I guessed correctly that they were in the cast!

Heavy Bluegrass

A decade ago, I saw a novelty Australian Bluegrass Band in Galway. They were from Oz and were called Sensitive New Age Cowpersons.

From the festival website:

Four Australian cowpokes who suffuse bluegrass,country and other types of roots music with solid dollops of wit and japery, the Sensitive New Age Cowpersons skewer all the cliches of country while cooking up a sizzling dish of red-hot bluegrass. They sing the most unlikely songs in the most inappropriate styles and, thanks to brilliant musicianship and comic genius, pull it off every time. They cover everything from AC/DC to Elvis to Hendrix and offer up their own post-modern, ideologically sound country songs too.

They did a great set and at one point even riffed along to some mobile phone interference breaking through on the PA.

I must have overly waxed lyrical about it because Karen recently bought me Hayseed Dixie-Let there be Rockgrass. for my Birthday. (You can hear a couple of tracks here).

Sorry Hayseeds, SNAC were better...

(If you've got itunes, click here to visit the Australian itunes store and hear 30 second snippets from their "other people's greatest hits" album.

My favourite spiritual homes

#1 is Newcastle Theatre Royal,
#2 is Newcastle City Hall, and...
#3 is Newcastle Paramount Theatre.

Blog posts here & here, buckets of photos, here, here and here.

A right Royal show...

This is a snapshot of a rather splendid (local artist) print of the Theatre Royal in Grey Street, Newcastle, that my parents bought me as a Christmas present in the 80s. It is of great sentimental value to me as it is one of my favourite buildings, another "Matchless Matcham" Masterpiece. It hangs in the lounge and has been in all of my houses in pride of place. Let me tell you why it has such special memories to me.

I took a break from my rock & roll venue crew lifestyle in late December 1975 to have a go in live Theatre. It wasn't a great loss to Rock & Roll- we had a resident Circus (starring Planet of the Apes, no less!) at the City Hall. (I found a poster on ebay- not from Newcastle but the same show!)


I was well known at Newcastle Royal to Ernie Savage (the chief LX) and Andy Kent (the Deputy), having called there intermittently since I had been 14 to scrounge gel (colour filter) and get tantalising tours backstage. I bumped into them in town one day just after school had broken up and they offered me a casual job as a showman, OP (Opposite Prompt, i.e. Stage Right) Electrician for the Panto. The show was Robinson Crusoe and the headline act was Mike & Bernie Winters (& Schnorbitz, of course).

The show itself was a really easy one to work, with only half a dozen cues. In act one, I was handed a plug from Ernie straight after a pyro flash had gone off, had to coil the cable up, step out onto the stage and hand it to the PS (prompt side- i.e. stage left) electrician behind the ship set. I always got a kick out of this- I could see all of the audience in the auditorium (on four levels) but they couldn't see me as they had been momentarily dazzled by the flash going off.

For the second half, an old wing mounted spotlight (a Strand Electric Pageant) was focussed for cross lighting then later on it was re-focussed (& re-coloured) onto some treasure for the pre-Finalé scene. I remember nearly coming a cropper one show by moving the light a bit too early before the stagehands had cleared one of the 18' flats (side wing scenery pieces) when we got in each other's way. There wasn't much room stage right and I was just being overly keen.

Being on the payroll was a transformation- previously I had been a nuisance to the doorman, now I was waved in and got to sign the staff book. We were technically meant to be in the building by "the half" (which is 35 minutes before showtime) but in practise they could cope as I was subject to the vagrancy of the buses.

By theatrical illusions were shattered on the second day, however, when Ernie spied me in the half, gave me a plunger and asked me to go up to the Male Chorus Dressing room!

I was paid £1.97 for a Matinée and £2.02 for an evening performance- 5p for "anti-social hours. After about a week working the shows, the Number 3 came up to me about ten minutes into a show and asked "Can you work a Lime?". It turned out that one of the follow-sput operators had a death in the family and was on a compassionate leave.

My trip up to the stage left (audience right) gallery slips was a bit of a let down. Instead of a Patt 765 CSI as used in the City Hall, there was a rather old Patt. 93N complete with bakelite tumbler switch and a piece of card for dimming. I was told that I had to be aware of two things- I couldn't cover downstage left and the other lime couldn't cover downstage right so we needed to swap beams if the turns went right down there (e.g. to the stairs to rescue children for the singalongs). Other than that, there was only one scene where the limes needed to be tight- a ballet scene in front of a gauze where it was important to keep the beam off the gause to not spoil the transformation scene. We also needed to keep the limes off for the UV puppet scene, of course.

The benefirt of working front of house is that you get to see the show and working a big chunk of a season you get to see all the funny bits where the actors muck up and corpse. Before too long, I had to go back to school again (and the proper lime boy came back). However, I managed to do every Wednesday afternoon Matinée for the rest of the run as I had a free period (even if I had to sneak out of school and run for the bus!)

I was invited to a cracking end of run party at the Theatre and also an unofficial joint one with the cast & crew of the Sunderland Empire Panto (which was unfortunately a bit of a flop, even though Mike Winters turned up to support it).

Ernie suggested a casual job for me as relief board operator for Andy (working their hi-tech new MMS located in the Royal Box) but I had to supposedly knuckle down to my A levels, although I kept on working City Hall shows. Had I gone to Newcastle Poly as planned, that would probably have come to fruition, but that is another story.

P.S. David was hoping to meet Schnorbitz but he ended up meeting with Schnorbaby instead.

A trip to north Lincolnshire

Today we went here.
It had fairground style rides,

Tommy Tinkaboo's Sweet adventure, a water based cute dark ride with an annoyingly upbeat catchy tune,

A sea lion show,

A parrot show, where one of the performers decided to ad-lib and sit on Spongebob Squarepants in the front row,

Karen's favourite, A parachute drop ride...

With 6 drops, 2 missing and 2 not being used- big queue!

A mine train,

A variant on the Rotor (stick to the wall like flies)

The falls of fear- (Fear that you might have gone down that disconnected tube!)

My favourite- the Boomerang, a classic Vekoma ride. Pulled up one of the towers, then thunder through the inversions, followed by the same backwards.

A leisurely paddle boat ride on the lake,

David's favourite- the cycle monorail.

This is Alakazam and it is rather evil! Look at the riding position, reminiscent of Air at Alton Towers...

...but it does this and pulls lots of Gs. I came off dizzy!

It was a glorious day and even Cleethorpes looked worth a look on the way back home. (It doesn't on a dull day!)
The staff at Pleasure Island were all very friendly and the food was OK, although the service was a bit ropey.

We also saw a slightly dodgy show called the Musical Time Machine with six energetic singer/dancers. They had over the ear mouth mics- that went behind their heads and over the other ear- no transmitter pack, miming, just for show!